Do you know what happens when you drink the water? That is the question asked by the tagline to Emily Hagin’s debut film, Pathogen. The answer is, of course, zombification. Now, when I say that Pathogen is a twelve-year old zombie film, I am not speaking of its chronological age: I am referring to the age of the girl who wrote, directed, and edited the piece. The question then becomes do you take the film on its own terms, or adjust your metric of criticism to reflect the unique origins of the DVD? Personally, I don’t think they need to be mutually exclusive ideas. I will go on to explain this, but I would like to take this opportunity to point out that if you aren’t heartened and excited by the very idea of a group of tweens making a zombie film, then you’re probably an a-hole.

The film opens in a research facility seeking to perfect nanotechnology in the form of sub-microscopic robots, with the aim of defeating cancer before it can metastasize. The unintended and unwanted consequence is that the nanobots actually infest the host, kill them, then take over, thus effectively zombifying the corpse before it can even fall. And the purpose of the new creature is the same as the purpose of any other creature on Earth: to propagate. Even though the research is scrapped as soon as this horrifying concept is made apparent to everyone involved, the archetypically inept janitor of the facility manages to futz his way out of the building with some nanobots in tow, who then find themselves quite rudely dumped into the drink. Hence, invisible zombie makers in the water. 

Now, when we get to the nuts and bolts of the film, we have to employ that new metric I mentioned earlier. First and foremost, let us sweep away the low production values with one deft motion of our critical hand. We at The Plot Hole do not care how much money you have to make a movie. In fact, we love you all the more for pressing on with your vision in the face of financial adversity. There are no sets in Pathogen: they quite obviously shot wherever anyone would let them. People’s houses, the local school, the nice people who let them in the supermarket after hours. Likewise the special effects: collapsible knives available at any Halloween shop, homemade blood concoctions, mom applying ghoulish makeups to the zombies. Oh, Emily, even if you were 45 these things would endear me to your movie.

The script and acting, however, need a firm body-check by the twelve-year old factor. The script is paper-thin, the expository dialog wincesome, and the explanatory scenes both in the beginning and end wholly unnecessary to the proceedings, diluting a strong concept with the dreaded show, don’t tell virus…unless your writer is twelve-years old. Then it is more of a marvel of how precocious and tenacious Emily is. I would do a back flip if my ten-year old daughter completed a book report without me hounding her, let alone complete a movie script. The acting is blah, but once again, we are dealing with younger kids just getting together to be in someone’s movie. The fact that they all got together and stuck it through to the end is a testament to a dedication and attention span their age is not often credited as being capable of possessing. And if you afford those parameters their due, you will find that there really are some bright spots to the performances.

Oh, and there is blood! Yup. Stabbings, masticating of warm, live flesh by cold, dead assailants, and even a beheading. I laughed out loud at several scenes of this nature, but totally in the good way. Emily was paying attention to the other films of this genre, and transcends merely parroting back what she has seen, and instead applies her own flair behind the camera, while at the same time staying true to the zombie code that hardcore fans live by. See, Hollywood? You can have integrity and originality at the same time. Do you need a twelve-year old show you how to do things?

The end result is, yes, the film has flaws. But if you accept and acknowledge them and make the necessary allowances, you will be able to see past them and enjoy the film on its own terms. Emily is now seventeen and working on a new film, and I for one am excited to see how some years under her belt and a few more life experiences expand her vocabulary for telling a story, and have trained her already gifted eye for images. 

You can learn about Emily's new film, The Retelling, as well as purchase Pathogen, at http://www.cheesynuggets.com. Tell 'em ZB sent you!

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