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Alright. Hold on. Let me see if I have this straight. This lady wrote a book that lots of girls seem to love. Even lots of older girls seem to love it. It made a bunch of money. Enough money to merit several sequels, and now some movies. The ladies seem to love the movies just as much as the books. This is apparently totally unacceptable to lots of people with internet connections. They need to rant and rave about the fact that these other people like something that they themselves do not. Is that about right? I am confounded at the audacity of these people. I mean, the nerve to not get the internet's permission before deciding on whether or not you like a book. And then the sheer, unadulterated, unmitigated gall to be vocal about it. Bananas. Can we get some hammers and some nails over here, please? I got some crosses to build. I am of course talking about Twilight. And for once, this is a rant not directed at Team Edward or Team Jacob. This is a rant directed at Team Shut Up and Mind Your Own Damned Business.
 | First and foremost, let's get some basic points ticked off, so maybe we can cut down on the amount of stupid emails I will have to delete later.
1. I have never read a Twilight book or seen a Twilight movie, and I never will. You see, I recognize that the content is not something that appeals to me, and I simply sidestep the issue. The Twilight phenomenon is over there, and I am over here. Problem solved. In that way, I never get my panties twisted about what is happening in the sordid life of Bella. I mention this because I don't want to deal with anyone explaining to me why the Twilight books suck. Or why the movies suck. I. Don't. Care. Your extra-special wisdom, your searing insight as to why I should have a low opinion of Twilight is going to fall on concrete-filled ears. Go tell it to your pet ferret. |
2. I am not ranting at the people who do not like Twilight. If you read the book or books, and hated it/them...then off to the internet with you. Blog up a hate storm. If you watched the movies and hated them, ditto. I write negative reviews of movies. If this website was filled with only stuff I liked, well, that would be boring and not well-balanced. Sometimes a movie sucks, and it needs to be called out. The same with books. No problem there. This is a rant about the people who rant against others that DO like the Twilight media. Like they somehow have less of a right to an opinion than you do.
Now on to the meat of the matter:
SHUT UP.
Stephen King said he thinks Stephanie Meyers is a terrible writer. Stephanie Meyers writes about a centuries-old sparkly vampire chasing after a high school student, and his werewolf rival. These two things are enough to make me never want to be involved with anything Twilight. So guess what? I don't get involved. I don't need to come along and poop on everyone else's parade. At least these people are enjoying a book and a movie, and not spending their time caring about what dress some celebrity is wearing or who some Hollywood Hunk is porking this week. They're involved in art in some way. And yes, Twilight is art. It might be a velvet Elvis painting to you, or dogs playing poker, but it is still art. As the Dead Milkmen said: "I must learn to distinguish the others from myself / They are separate people, with different personalities / They might not like the things I like / They might not eat the same food / Or they might not want to go to the places where I want to go"
Also bear in mind that there is a bevy of young females who may never have thought to read a book before. But then they twigged that Twilight was something that might speak to them, and lo and behold, it did. Big time. And so they went on to devour the other books in the series. And it has been my experience that a person in possession of books naturally wants to be in possession of even more books. Whatever gets kids reading is okalee-dokelee diddly-dee with me.
I also want to point out that the genesis of this rant is not one website or person in particular. Just as I know intelligent, sensitive people who are fully invested in Twilight, I too know intelligent, sensitive people who are not. Some of these people have expressed their displeasure with seeing copious Twilight mentions. To the people who have done so respectfully, this is not about you. To the ones who have been douchebags about it...well, here you go. I'll let you decide which one you are.
A good case in point would be a thread I was involved in over at the NaNoWriMo forums. Some girl was looking for people to give her their Twilight books so she could destroy them for a college class project. In the words of Kyle's mom: "Wha-wha-wha-what?!" A person who is involved with a cooperative, supportive effort to create her own art, along with 90,000 or so others trying to do the same, seeks to celebrate such by DESTROYING ANOTHER PERSON'S ART. Does this make sense? Is that really the way you choose to support literature? Wouldn't your time be better spent putting something positive into the world? Is there really a finite space for ideas?
But her and others choose to lol their way through this issue. It is acceptable because it is Twilight. Twilight is the worst thing to ever happen to the world. The worst books ever written by the worst author who ever lived, and the worst movies ever made in the history of cinema. Sound like a reasonable position to take to you?
In closing, allow me to say that I would much rather hang out with Team Edward or Team Jacob than Team Asshole.
SHUT UP.
All hate mail should be directed at:
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