So, Entertainment Weekly recently put out their list of the top 20 horror films of the past 20 years. As you might expect, the list is utter nonsense. From just reading it, I cannot for a second fathom what metric they used to establish this retarded dogshit list. Box office receipts? I doubt that. Horror nerd bias? Surely not. The Plot Hole is unabashedly an opinion site. We have no employees: just a couple of geeks being unfair and snarky to anything and anyone we don’t like. But this Owen Gleiberman dude, who wrote the list, is a paid employee who was assigned this task by his superiors. And while he may be a movie critic, he is no horror buff. We realize that every other horror website this side of the Cretaceous Period has rebutted and pissed on this list, so you can just add our opinion to the pile. We’ve never been proud or above flogging a dead horse. Read on, if you dare!

(Click here to buy any of the movies mentioned in this unnecessary rebuttal!) 

#20. Dead-Alive: This movie definitely belongs on the list, though I might have put it higher than #20. It unfairly gets brushed off as a horror-comedy, as if comedy itself was easy, and the marriage of humor and hardcore gory zombie action was the simplest thing in the world. Braindead (may your heads be struck from your neck for not using the original title, EW) is not just one of the goriest movies ever made, it is also a showcase of then-budding director Peter Jackson’s filmmaking prowess. The same prowess that would later bring you Heavenly Creatures and King Kong. SO THERE.

#19. Darkman: Not a horror film. And Sam Raimi shows up later on the list with a much worthier entry, which makes this choice all the more bizarre.

#17. The Kingdom: A Danish television miniseries that is 90% ER, and 10% Ringu. Makes perfect sense. I know that Gleiberman wanted street cred for busting out with some Lars Von Trier, but I’ve seen the full and uncut The Kingdom, and while I enjoyed it, it hardly has a place here.

#11. Planet Terror: This one can stay, though since it is so recent I would put it lower on the list. But make no mistake, I absolutely adore this movie. It is a total gross-out flick, just rampant carnage and camp and black as night humor. Someone in the office must have shouted out this one when Gleiberman was spit-balling ideas around the water cooler at the Eeew! offices.

#10. Ringu: I have this movie, but haven’t watched it yet. Loved the American remake, though, and I hear lots of good things about it. (Angela’s opinion on this suggests the remake might be a better entry, if for nothing else than it ushered in a slew of Japanese ghost story remakes. Like it or not, it signifies it as an influential horror film, and makes a case for it being on a list such as this.)

#9. Alien 3: Haven’t ever actually seen this one, either. But for this one to make the list, and so high, seems suspect to me. I could possibly see part 4 on this list, but still much lower.

#8. Drag Me To Hell: Oh hell yeah. This was by far my favorite horror film of this year, and the reasons for which can be found in our group review on this very website. This is everything a horror film should be: campy, fun, gross, and occasionally genuinely frightening. Raimi’s masterful return to the genre is well-deserving of this place on the list.

#7. The Sixth Sense: This one would not be on my personal list, but I can see it being included on this one. It certainly caused a box-office ruckus, and still stands as being M. Night Shyamalan’s most successful movie, at least in an artistic sense. So what if the twist is hackneyed? If someone didn’t ruin it for you (like someone did for me *grumble, grumble*) then it is actually quite an effective shock.

#5 . 28 Weeks Later: This makes no sense. I adored this movie, thought it was a proper sequel in every sense of the word, but it is hardly better than the original. 28 Days Later is a fantastic film, one that came totally out of left field and woke this horror fan up with its human drama and terrifying antagonists. That movie should be on the list, and #5 would be a fine spot for it indeed.

#4 . Scream: The chuckleheaded horror fan would say nay to this one, but I would disagree. I think it belongs on this list, and it merits this high a position. Other than the genuinely frightening opening, the movie pretty much falls flat, but it struck a nerve with the mainstream movie-watching masses, and definitely helped to usher other horror films into theaters, movies that otherwise would not have gotten nearly as much attention.

#2 . The Silence of the Lambs: The biggest complaint I’ve seen about this film being on the list is that it isn’t horror: it’s a police procedural. I’m not sure how much I agree with that. A guy kidnaps women, and starves them to steal their skin to make dresses from. And the only link to him is a vicious yet urbane psychopath who can kill you without even touching you. He can literally talk you to death. Having a man that smart being capable of such casual atrocity with nary a winking of conscience is pretty horrifying to me. This goes on the list, and I don’t begrudge it the #2 spot.

#1 . Audition: This is by far my favorite Takashi Miike film, precisely for the fact that it is so unlike all of his other stuff. When you think Japanese horror, you think bizarre and gross. Audition bucks expectation by being a subdued character drama. It lulls you into a false sense of security, so when the horror is dropped on you like a bomb, it is that much more grotesque and effective. There are few people who do not walk away from this movie without at least a small mental scar. To see that bag flopping around…and then see what is in the bag? Oh god, I just freaked myself out again. And that piano wire? *shudder* The general thought on other websites is that this film was put at #1 in an attempt to garner horror street cred, and that is more than likely the case. I wouldn’t have come up with this as #1, but I find it hard to complain about such an amazing film topping the list.

And don't forget, you can click on this link to buy any of the movies mentioned in this column - even the shitty ones!

Comments

Add New Search

Write comment

Name: Email:   Title: UBBCode:         -color-aquablackbluefuchsiagraygreenlimemaroonnavyolivepurpleredsilvertealwhiteyellow -size-tinysmallmediumlargehuge     Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.

Michelle   |208.124.81.xxx |2009-08-20 08:58:12 I'm so glad someone else feels my disappointment and bafflement regarding the love everyone has for The Descent. I saw it at the drive-in, and at no point did I feel anything approaching fear. Totally overrated movie.

bethany (h-town)   |70.241.75.xxx |2009-08-20 21:33:55 What Lies Beneath made the list? Blair Witch? Really? What Lies Beneath - even I was bored by it. And I'll watch anything. Only movie I ever really considered a complete waste of my time and wanted the time back was Eyes Wide Shut. That could make this list as sheer horror-ible and tragically over hyped. It was so boring IT was a horror scene all on its own. How to be bored to death. That being said, even with balls, the Blair Witch Project was a snoozefest, as well. I didn't see it in the theatres... and when it was over, I kept wondering, "is that it?" I did enjoy From Hell, though, it's been a long time since I have seen it. All being told, I'm not a horror film buff, but I'm shocked that Nightmare on Elm Street (the first one) didn't make the list. The waterbed scene still gives me nightmares. Or Poltergeist. Have we already forgotten, "They're here..."?

Mr. Majestyk   |71.249.96.xxx |2009-08-30 12:18:09 Any list of great recent horror movies that doesn't include Martyrs is incomplete. I would also like to nominate The Ruins, a movie that actually managed to make this gorehound fidget uncomfortably. And I wanted to call The Descent overrated ever since I saw that poster that called it the best horror-thriller since Alien. The problem is, I can't, because it very well might be. It's one of the only legitimately scary movies on this list. The first sight of the monster is a textbook example of how you do a scare right. Maybe it doesn't stick the landing, but for a good chunk of the running time, it makes you afraid of the dark, something horror movies haven't even attempted to do for a very long time. And Nightmare on Elm Street and Poltergeist are both well over 20 years old and thus not eligible.

Powered by !JoomlaComment 3.26

3.26 Copyright (C) 2008 Compojoom.com / Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."