Most of May has gone by now, and we have seen some good films released, and some very bad ones. So while we are weathering the storm of what the rest of the month has to offer us, let us now look forward to what June holds in store. Once again, these films are listen in the order of their supposed release dates, and all the opinions I give are based on what I read at IMDb and my own inherent ignorace. Also as before, feel free to comment here or drop me a line as to what your own opinions are.

Land of the Lost: I am not pleased with this at all. Will Ferrell has perfected the stupid comedy for the 21^stcentury, and it disheartened me that someone thought it was a good idea to turn that scope onto a show beloved by my generation from our childhood. Sure, it looks like they got the Sleestacks right, but that is going to be cold-comfort while the rest of the movie pisses all over my memories. 

I hate to condemn a movie before I’ve seen it, and I will try to keep an open mind, but there is literally nothing about this film that gives me hope.

The Hangover: This one I am having a hard time getting a grip on. It is directed by Todd Phillips, who directed, of all things, Hated (the awful film featuring the awful GG Allin and the awful Murder Junkies), as well as Road Trip and Old School. Not exactly a winning pedigree, as far as I am concerned. It was also written by the duo who brought us such dogshit as Four Christmases and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. However, it stars Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis, as well as featuring Jeffrey Tambor and Rachel Harris. There is already a sequel in the works. I’ll probably skip this one until video. Might be funny, but just too risky for a theater ticket. Oh, the plot? Does it matter? Really? Sigh. Some dudes go to Vegas and have raunchy, alcohol-clouded adventures. Happy?

Away We Go: Ah, now we are getting somewhere. Directed by Sam Mendes (Jarhead, American Beauty) and written by the husband and wife team of award-winning writer Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, an author of some renown herself, it stars John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph as an expectant couple on a road trip to find the perfect place to start their family. I think I smell a winner. It looks to be a slice of life film with just a tiny bit of artful fantasy thrown in, and a look on IMDb at the rest of the cast only makes me want to see it more. Usually I don’t throw down theater dollars unless there are monsters or explosions, but I think I will be taking a chance on this puppy.

Imagine That: Ugh. Back to the crap. Yet another Eddie Murphy special effects deal where he has to learn the true meaning of family. With any luck I will go to my fucking grave never seeing this movie. The director’s only other feature to date (though he has done solid screenwriting work on other things) is Over the Hedge, but that had Steve Carrell and The Shat. This one has Thomas Haden Church (Lowell!) and the obnoxious black kid from Role Models, but that is not enough to make me sit through an Eddie Murphy comedy, unless we travel back in time to the days of Trading Places or 48 Hours. ROX-ANNE!

The Taking of Pelham 123: About a train heist turned hostage/ransom situation, John Godey’s 1973 novel has gotten a shitcrapton of cinematic mileage. The first theatrical film, done in 1974, stars Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw, while the 1998 TV version features Edward James Olmos and Vincent D’Onofrio. So the remake wanks can take a backseat on this one. Anyway, the latest entry has Denzel Washington and John I Can’t Believe They Are Still Putting Me In Movies Travolta. It’s directed by Tony Scott, who, while not the wunderkind that his brother, Ridley, is, is still no slouch. Might be a good popcorn flick. Interestingly enough, this version does away with the color-coded names for the bad guys, which Tarantino borrowed for Reservoir Dogs.

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Mr. Majestyk  - Things I'm Done With:   |71.249.122.xxx |2009-05-23 07:26:11 1. Quirky indie dramedies with quirky indie soundtracks: I didn't like it in Harold & Maude and that was 35 years ago. Maybe it's time to try out a new tone besides "forced whimsy." 2. Larry David: Not funny, just annoying. Like if the punchline of a joke was a popcorn kernel stuck between your teeth. Sorry, I did not drink the Kool Aid on this dude: He sucks. 3. Will Farrell: Yes, we get it--it's supposed to be funny that such a human as you exists at all, let alone gets cast as any kind of authority figure. Key word: "supposed." 4. PG Eddie Murphy: A preening cock magically transformed into a braying jackass. Thanks, Shrek! 5. Jack Black - Tenacious D: Shut up and sing. Preferably of wildebeests and angels. 6. Michael Cera - the rest of the Arrested Development cast: In a shocking change of pace, his character is stuttering and awkward! 7. The fact that the Pelham remake won't use the original theme song: Most badass theme song ever. Plus, that movie had my favorite "thing you could only find in the seventies": Walter Matthau, sexy action hero.

Zombie Boy  - Cynical Saturday!   |SAdministrator |2009-05-23 13:10:26 1. In a stunning reversal of my normal personality, I am choosing to not judge Away We Go before I see it. It may be forced whimsy, but I am hoping not. More than anything else, I am psyched to see Maya Rudolph get a starring role in something that may be taken seriously. 2. I was resistant to David, but a friend had all the Curb discs, and so I watched the show in its entirety, and ended up really enjoying it. I just think that Woody and he might make a good combo. 3. I can't argue on Ferrell. And he was so good in Stranger Than Fiction, that is what makes it so heart-breaking. 4. Once again, I must agree. I happen to hate everything about the Shrek films, as well. Thank goodness they're making a fourth. It is easy to make copious sequels when you don't have to be bothered with having good ideas. 5 and 6. Year One looks to be capitalizing on JB's strengths: namely, what he does in Tenacious D. Cera I like, much as it chagrins me. I want to be the one to buy him his first beer and hooker. 7. Nothing about the Pelham remake looks interesting to me. Oh, Denzel saves the day. Travolta chews scenery. Whoopee. When does Buscemi get to be a sexy action hero, is what I want to know.

Mr. Majestyk   |71.249.122.xxx |2009-05-23 17:57:47 I recently dated a girl who lives in Buscemi's neighborhood, and she swears that he's good-looking in person. Perhaps he'll get his shot sooner than you think. Maybe if they remake Charlie Varrick?

Bobby B  - June So Soon?   |76.115.19.xxx |2009-06-02 22:32:42 Saying I hate Will Ferrell would be strong. I don't know him. But I HATE his work in movies. Even Stranger Than Fiction. Of course, I was never a big Land of the Lost fan either. Don' t know why. For some reason, this movie looks intriguing. I'll be sure and tell you how great it is when I see it. Majestyk, you're saying the Pelham theme song was more badass than the Assault on Precinct 13 theme song? Fugeddaboutit. Steve Buscemi will be a sexy action hero when rats start making movies. Hmmmm...by that criteria, he should already be Us magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. What gives?

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