I will admit that I kind of thought the idea of playing out the classic romantic tragedy Romeo and Juliet with computer-animated garden gnomes was pretty neat, but it really was nothing that I felt moved to go to the theater to see. That is, until I scammed free passes to an advanced, 3D screening. Then all of a sudden it seemed like an awesome idea. So, there you go. And now here you go.

What it’s about:

Well, duh. I already covered this, and it is heavily implied by the title. In this case, it is actually the respective owners of a duplex who are Mrs. Montague and Mr. Capulet, and it is their garden gnomes (blue for Montague and red for Capulet) who play out the Shakespearean animosity, though they naturally have no idea why. They’re just hardened clay, for heaven’s sake. But for those in the cheap seats: Gnomeo is a blue, who through a series of circumstances encounters Juliet, a red, under the conditions that both their hats are completely covered. They have a successful flirtation, only to discover they have fallen in love with the enemy. Hijinks ensue.

The Good:

Pretty much everything. The animation is top-notch, and obviously the tale is timeless. The movie sets up the action for the younger people who may be watching right in beginning, with a gnome who comes out onto a stage and explains that they are going to tell a tale that has been told many times before, but it requires a lot of boring explanation. He then begins reciting the prologue to the original play, only to be dropped through a trap door. This gets a big laugh from the kids, and even in the establishing shot for the movie proper there is a Hamlet joke (the duplex address is, well, you can guess. I hope.). There are several other nice Shakespeare jokes (some overt, some clever) as well as a WONDERFUL running lawnmower joke (ha ha) and a pink flamingo with a Spanish accent. As far as the actual gnome proceedings, it follows the source material well while being brought down enough to the kids’ level to engage them without being patronizing. And while there are plenty of jokes for the adults, it never resorts to out and out potty humor.

The Bad:
There isn’t much bad in this genuinely funny, honestly fun for all ages movie. I will say that one scene, when Gnomeo and Juliet are spiffing themselves up for their first legitimate date, has the look and feel of an Old Navy advert. That was weird. Also, Elton John is all over this movie like hair on a gorilla. His songs are used as soundtrack, instrumental versions of his songs are used as score, one gnome actually becomes Elton while serenading a frog, and the weather vanes on both sides of the duplex, at the end of the film, are different versions of Elton John. It was bizarre enough to take me out of the film.

Trivia:

No real trivia here. I am sure there is, but I don’t know it and am not inspired to dig. I will say that there is a lot of great, if not weird, voice talent on hand. In supporting roles there is Michael Caine, Maggie Smith, Jason Statham, and Stephen Merchant. Oh, and Ozzy Osbourne.

I had already heard some negative things about this film before even stepping foot in the theater, so I wasn’t really expecting much. I knew that the Strause Brothers (pretentiously listed in the credits as “The Brothers Strause”) were visual effects artists, so I figured it would look good, but I also knew that their only other feature is Alien vs. Predator: Requiem, so I figured not to expect much else. Turns out I was right on the money about both.

What it’s about:

Apparently beings so highly advanced, when compared to us, that they can construct flying machines that will cross interstellar distances are somehow concerned with little old Earth. They emerge from the clouds in their giant-ass vehicles and begin shining a strange blue light everywhere that turns humans into zombies, and then they suck them up, yum yum. They wreak havoc in L.A., and presumably the rest of the world, and there doesn’t seem to be much anyone can do to stop them. Or is there? (no)

The Good:

As I said above, the film looks fabulous. The Strause brothers did not make bank in Hollywood over the decade because they don’t know how to create a damned fine image. The photography is good, the camera placement and movements are good, and the aliens obviously look excellent. There is really never a time when you don’t believe what’s on screen. They throw everything from spaceships to tentacled marauders to huge-ass stomping alien creatures our way. There are even a few surprises and some nicely creepy visuals. Lots of people get their heads removed for them, which is a bit of a predilection I have in my monster movies (that sounds sort of sick, but it is what it is). There is also a distinct Lovecraftian vibe to the large aliens. Never a bad thing.

The Bad:

The story portion of the film is a total fizzle. The cast is The Attack of the Television Actors, and while all the players are people whose work I have enjoyed, none of them, except my man Eric Balfour, belong in a film. And even Balfour is made to look stupid with the weak script and choppy direction. The Strause’s can direct action and craft awesome aliens, but they can’t evoke convincing portrayals from their actors. There was really not an honest emotional beat in the whole movie. And as we all know, without any character development no one is going to give two shits what happens to said characters. There was never a single drop of tension anywhere in this pointless movie, and the bombastic music was a key that they knew it, and were trying to drum up suspense using that cheap ploy.

Basically it was all shades of ID4, The Matrix, and a whole scene lifted directly out of Spielberg’s War of the Worlds. Once the action got started it was apparent that no one had any idea where to go with it, and so it mainly just sat there stewing in its own juices. It felt like Lord of the Rings: it kept going on every time I thought it was going to end. Wait until video for this one. When it’s in the Redbox. And you have a coupon. And you’ve watched everything else.

Trivia:

Apparently this film was entirely self-funded by the Strause brothers and was mostly filmed in and around their condo complex. Which just goes to show that no matter how much money and expertise you throw at the screen, it will not make up for a derivative story, a weak script, and characters who are little more than ciphers. I cannot imagine for the life of me why they thought this movie was worthy of their own personal finances. They could have invested in a string of really awesome low budget efforts instead, and given the cinematic world some originality. Oh well.

I was not quite so keen on seeing Megamind. Tina Fey is a treat, and I thought it would be fun to have Brad Pitt return to the land of animated films (I think the last time he did was Sinbad, a decade or so ago) but I am over Jonah Hill and Will Ferrell just depresses me. He showed how good he could be with Stranger Than Fiction, yet routinely does his Step-Brothers kind of dogshit. But my daughter was hip to see this one, and lord knows I watch a lot of crap for her sake. So off he went to the movies.

So the fact that I felt the need to even write a mini-review already tells you that I either really liked it or fucking hated it. Fortunately it is the former and not the latter. Because, contrary to popular opinion, I much prefer enjoying a movie than not. Sure, bad reviews are more fun to write, but ultimately I would like to not feel like I wasted my money. In this case, I think it was well spent, and I would urge anyone to see it before it leaves theaters as well.

Unfortunately it is difficult to give a synopsis of this film without getting into spoilers, so I’ll stick with the bigger picture. Right off the bat the film tackles the huge questions of nature versus nurture and racial inequality. Two capsules are fired from two different planets each involved in a galaxy-wide catastrophe: one contains a handsome white infant, while the other contains a large-headed blue humanoid. The white kid lands at a posh mansion and becomes the frat boy douchebag superhero Metroman, while the blue kid lands at a prison for the criminally gifted, but does not actually become a supervillain until he goes to school with Metroman, and is continually ignored and put down by the other normally-hued kids. Make what you will of all that commentary.

And as these things go, events unfold in such a way that Megamind learns that his destiny is not written in stone, but that he can remake himself into any image he chooses. When a much worse for the city foe named Tighten (he’s sort of dumb like that) shows up, it becomes up to Megamind to make the choice to do what is right, a stark contrast to the bill of goods he sold himself when he shrugged off his self-esteem and donned a black cape.

Now, all that probably sounds pretty preachy, and it is, as films aimed at kids tend to be. However, this film was smart enough to throw in lots of music and jokes that the parents would appreciate, and tons of easter eggs for comics fans. For instance, every time Megamind does something correctly (be it good or evil) we are treated to music such as Highway to Hell, Crazy Train, and Welcome to the Jungle. And the Tighten joke itself (he meant Titan) is one that would go over most kids’ heads.

But the real meat of the movie, for me, were the references. In addition to the obvious Superman stuff at the beginning, when Megamind pretends to be Tighten’s father he does an obvious Brando impersonation. Megamind’s minion is a fish in a bowl set atop a mechanical body that is very reminiscent of the alien in Robot Monster. Roxanne Ritchi, the Lois Lane-type character portrayed by Tina Fey, has a cameraman named Hal who wears a Watchmen smiley face button like The Comedian, which is a reference and a precursor to future events in the film. There is a really funny Karate Kid joke, and in the beginning, when baby Megamind is being put into his capsule, there is a large screen blinking the word PANIC. Maybe I am reading a Douglas Adams reference into that, but I like it so I am sticking with it.

The trivia page on IMDb also has a lot of stuff about references to comics, but I won’t repeat them here because I cannot verify them, but I am sure you comic geeks will notice them in the film (Rog, I am looking at you).

In the end, I think if you have a kid this is a good movie to take them to, one that will entertain while teaching them a good listen about how to be confident in themselves and not let other people dictate who they are or should be. But even if you don’t have a kid it is just a damned good time at the theater.

And if nothing else has persuaded you yet, Justin Theroux and Guillermo Del Toro are listed as creative consultants to the film, and word is Del Toro lent a hand in the editing department. That is a pretty strong pedigree as far as I am concerned.

I had wanted to see Devil on its open weekend, but my glamorous life of full-time job and helicopter parent kept me from doing so. But better late than never, I guess. The main reason I wanted to tackle this one, even in a mini format, was because I knew it was going to not be seen by a lot of people because of the Shyamalan backlash. So, as a point of information for you: while it was his idea and produced by his company, DEVIL WAS NEITHER WRITTEN NOR DIRECTED BY M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN. See? It’s safe to go see it after all.

What’s it about:

Devil is an ingeniously simple concept: five people get on an elevator, and they get dead in turn until we figure out which one is Satan up on Earth for a lark. And that’s pretty much it. There’s a cop with a tortured past trying to save the day, of course, but mostly it’s just the people in the elevator getting picked off like nits from a gorilla’s ass.

The Good:

The five characters are disparate enough to seem like random chance, but not as Village People-y as the bus occupants in Speed. The Final Destination events that occur to keep the people both incommunicado to the outside world and from being rescued are neatly explained away by Ramirez, a religious security guard in the building, who narrates the film with stories his mom told him as a child regarding how the devil likes to behave. With a fine coating of the supernatural we are free to let everything else go and anticipate who’s gonna die next and who the culprit may be. The casting was also well done in the sense that all the players should be familiar to you from their various smaller movie roles and TV work, but not so familiar that you pin any extra suspicion or sympathy on them.

The Bad:

Well, that sympathy issue is a big sticking point. While Devil’s 80-minute running time keeps proceedings tight and the pace fast, it also keeps us from ever building any intimacy with the characters. So while Devil is a fun movie, it’s never a tense one. It also leaves the opening event as a very loose end, and while the resolution in the elevator is more satisfying than a regular Shyamalan “what a tweest!”, the final scene in the movie is a bit weak and schmaltzy.

End Result:

As I look at what I wrote, I see that the good paragraph is a bit bigger than the bad, so I guess overall I liked the film. I think it is a fun Summer film. It will keep you guessing but won’t tax your brain in the way that a film like Inception would. It’s never tense or scary (unless you’re a tween, I guess, and with its PG-13 rating it will have a fair share of that audience) but it moves fast and never fucks with you as to whether it is supernatural or not, which is a pet peeve of mine. And considering it has made more than its budget in its opening week, you can undoubtedly expect to see the next two films in the proposed trilogy coming atcha pretty soon.

Trivia:

While the fireman named Kurtzy may not have been named for Bob Kurtzman, the former K in KNB Effects and director of such fine films as the first Wishmaster, the lawyer named Kazan and likable security guard named Lustig were surely not coincidences. Also, the annoying salesman in the elevator is Geoffrey Arend, the sonofabitch engaged to Christina Hendricks.

The Set-Up:

Disillusioned southern preacher Cotton Marcus agrees to perform one last exorcism for a documentary film crew, as a means of exposing to the public what a sham the procedure is. When he arrives at the Sweetzer farm in New Orleans he meets the presumably possessed 16-year old Nell, her angry brother Caleb, and their drunk and distraught father, Louis. He performs the exorcism, and everything seems fine…until Nell shows up at his motel room, five miles away, later that night. He becomes embroiled in her life, and drags producer Iris and her cameraman into some shit they never bargained for.

The good:

The acting here is really above par. Patrick Fabian and Ashley Bell particularly stand out as Cotton and Nell. They’re the lynch-pins of the film. If you don’t believe the possessed and the preacher there isn’t much of an exorcism movie. Luckily they do a great job. Apparently Ashley Bell is double-jointed and all the contortions she does in the film are real and not special effects. I think this is a career-making film. Look what Emily Rose did for Jennifer Carpenter. Also, as with any film of this nature , the supernatural element remains largely ambiguous, but there are plenty of absolutely creepy visuals and scenes of great violence to keep you entertained and engaged while waiting to find out what happens in the end. And what an ending. Holy shit. Like it ot hate it you’ll have to agree it’s pretty insane.

The bad:

The Last Exorcism is like a horror film scarecrow: bits and pieces of other films copied and pasted onto a skeletal framework. It is difficult, as a film fan, to not sit and point out what other movies they lifted various pieces from. Sometimes subtly, and sometimes really, really, really blatantly. It also has one glaringly obvious logic flaw that doesn’t come to light til the end, and which I cannot point out here without issuing a spoiler. So email me if you’ve already seen the film and we’ll talk about it.

End Result:

Ultimately, I enjoyed the film. Yes, there is not an original bone in its body, but it was well-made, the characters were written and acted well, and there were definite goosebump moments. And they made sure that the final scene was going to be one sending you out of the theater going what the fuck did I just watch? I’ll give it a catch it on video thumb’s up.

Some trivia:

German-born directed Daniel Stamm made a film previous to this called A Necessary Death which was also documentary-style, following a man who planned to commit suicide. I can’t help but think that movie is why Eli Roth thought Stamm would be perfect for this film.