Alright. Hold on. Let me see if I have this straight. This lady wrote a book that lots of girls seem to love. Even lots of older girls seem to love it. It made a bunch of money. Enough money to merit several sequels, and now some movies. The ladies seem to love the movies just as much as the books. This is apparently totally unacceptable to lots of people with internet connections. They need to rant and rave about the fact that these other people like something that they themselves do not. Is that about right? I am confounded at the audacity of these people. I mean, the nerve to not get the internet's permission before deciding on whether or not you like a book. And then the sheer, unadulterated, unmitigated gall to be vocal about it. Bananas. Can we get some hammers and some nails over here, please? I got some crosses to build. I am of course talking about Twilight. And for once, this is a rant not directed at Team Edward or Team Jacob. This is a rant directed at Team Shut Up and Mind Your Own Damned Business.

Tough Guy Appeal or Boyish Charm? As The Plot Hole tips our hats to the memory of Patrick Swayze, we offer the male, and female perspective of his film career.

The Female Perspective (by Angela Mac):

Patrick Swayze.

Just the name sounds good.

Take the Patrick part: a strong, proud, Irish name – full of fight and fueled by passion. The Swayze aspect is a whole other story: “Sway”… a slow, undulating movement – and that “Zeeee”, mmm, there’s smoldering style in that ze.

(By Guest Reviewer: Mike White)

Do you remember the old Klingon proverb that the even-numbered Star Trek films are better than the odd-numbered ones? Despite the height of Star Trek II and the depths of Star Trek: The Motion Picture and Star Trek V, this sweeping generalization just doesn’t hold water when peering at Star Trek VI with a critical eye. Trying to recapture the magic of Star Trek II (and IV) writer/director Nicholas Meyer was brought back to the series. Alas, Meyer was unable to pull the series out of its tailspin.

So, Entertainment Weekly recently put out their list of the top 20 horror films of the past 20 years. As you might expect, the list is utter nonsense. From just reading it, I cannot for a second fathom what metric they used to establish this retarded dogshit list. Box office receipts? I doubt that. Horror nerd bias? Surely not. The Plot Hole is unabashedly an opinion site. We have no employees: just a couple of geeks being unfair and snarky to anything and anyone we don’t like. But this Owen Gleiberman dude, who wrote the list, is a paid employee who was assigned this task by his superiors. And while he may be a movie critic, he is no horror buff. We realize that every other horror website this side of the Cretaceous Period has rebutted and pissed on this list, so you can just add our opinion to the pile. We’ve never been proud or above flogging a dead horse. Read on, if you dare!